My Child, The Decision Maker

As a proclaimed “pack rat” growing up, I am blown away by my child’s ability to make decisions about items in his room that no longer serve a purpose for him. He is unbelievably decisive about donating and giving away things he doesn’t want anymore. I would say he is more like a robot than a teenager, but he is definitely sentimental and attached to certain things from his childhood. 

When he was five, my husband came home from Las Vegas with a stuffed lion that my kid immediately named Lionel and started sleeping with every night. I imagine Lionel claiming a special spot on a shelf in his college dorm, or at least remaining in our home for safekeeping. His plush Charmander that is a world traveler? Charmander remains on his bed and has almost as many passport stamps as us! 

Much like exercising and lifting weights, you can become stronger at making decisions and letting things go through practice, patience, and support. When he was younger, I supported him through this process. If he was hesitating or pausing over something, I explained that he could keep it and that I would never force him to get rid of something until he was ready. I have taught him how to periodically review his surroundings–something that was critical to keep a year ago might not be so important a year later. Every six months or so, he wants to work on his room: code for me to help him get started. Every time he works in his room, he needs me a little less. 

He is in the phase of teenager-hood when you are a mix of child and adult. As much as I want to hold him tight, just like I held onto my childhood memorabilia, I have to ease up on the reins with the confidence and awareness that he knows I am here to support him. If he gets overwhelmed or struggles with a decision, I remind him that as decisive as he is, if he is pausing, it’s okay and maybe not time to let it go. I hope that when his dad and I cry as he heads off to college in a few years, we have given him as many skills as we can to be successful and thrive. In my opinion, learning to let go of unwanted items is a valuable skill that can be strengthened through practice and time. If you need support, hopefully you can find a friend (or professional organizer!) nearby to help you out. We all need a little help sometimes to make decisions!